Thursday, 16 April 2015

Win some pie...

I love pie. I entered a competition to win pie. I won pie. Then I won even more pie.

Well, technically I won vouchers for pie, which is even better, as it’s basically pie cash. Plus it would be physically impossible for me to store all the pie I won.

But the plot thickens. I’ve won more pie than I can eat before the vouchers expire.

What to do?

I’ll tell you. In a shameless bid to increase how many people follow me on Twitter (I got reasons – don’t judge me!), I’m going to give five Pukka Pie family pie vouchers to one lucky person.

If you want to be part of this draw, all you have to do is follow @garywasabi and retweet the text "RT&FLW @garywasabi to stop him eating all the #pies. #win #ilovepastry T&C", which can be found at the following address:

The closing date for entries is 00.01 30th April 2015.

Please note that the vouchers are valid in the UK only, so the draw is necessarily restricted to UK entrants only. Sorry about that.

Terms & Conditions

1) The prize is vouchers for five Pukka Pie family size pies. That’s the big pie.  There is no cash alternative.
2) The closing date for entries is 00.01 30th April 2015. No further entries will be accepted after this point.
3) The winner will be selected randomly from all followers of @garywasabi who have retweeted the original tweet
4) The winner will be selected using and I will double-check they meet the entry criteria
5) I will announce the winner
6) The winner has seven days to claim their prize. If the prize hasn’t been claimed in this period, I will redraw.
7) The winner’s vouchers will be dispatched via Royal Mail (UK addresses only).
8) Entry into the competition will be deemed as acceptance of these terms and conditions.
9) I will not use your information to sell you encyclopaedias, or to get anyone else to sell you encyclopaedias.
9) This promotion is in no way sponsored, endorsed or administered by, or associated with, Twitter or any other social network. Neither is it sponsored, endorsed or administered by Pukka Pie.
10) I reserve the right to cancel or amend the competition and these terms and conditions without notice in the event of a catastrophe, war, civil or military disturbance, act of God or any actual or anticipated breach of any applicable law or regulation or any other event outside of my control. Any changes to the competition will be notified to entrants as soon as possible via Twitter.
11) I think that’s it, but if I have forgotten anything fundamental that might void this endeavour, please let me know.

PS: Pie vouchers expire 31 July 2015.

Saturday, 7 February 2015

Sick kids

Sick kids are supposed to sit on the sofa all day looking listless. Why do mine get the wake up at 6 and be arseholes all day germs?

Friday, 19 December 2014

The stair gate

Ever tried to fit a stair gate assisted by a one year old? Don't.

Friday, 7 November 2014

On colouring books

Regardless of how many pages have been used, colouring books have a lifecycle of three months. After this point, no carrot on this earth will get another penstroke in them. Or, for that matter, any stick.

Friday, 31 October 2014

Traffic jamming

Just spent an hour sitting on the A11 while Thing 1 looped La Cucharache on the Bontempi. It's Hallowe'en and I've been to hell.

Friday, 17 October 2014

Monday, 13 October 2014

Translating babies

What you say:
I'm just going to fetch your sippy-cup

What they hear:
You have 15 seconds to shriek your freakin nuts off ... GO!